to the west and to the east
I kneel
to the north and to the south
I bow

to all of direction
I pray
for all of us be realeased from torment
from being stray

because I had a bad day
today is such a disarray
tangled by the chain of pain
as soon as you step on its terrain

oh dear, oh dear
wonder when it will untie me
it’s okay albeit it’s only the rear
i will always play the chain melody of do-re-mi

oh tell me please
when will the time come?
when there will be no skirmish
or will all of us become gum?

chewed
then spitted out
the most useless beings in the world
so don’t pout

just let me free
untie me
release me
and hang that stupid being at tree!!

shoot it
kill it
banish it
free me from it!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Roger Federer!!!

who is 29 y’old this year!! =)

hope u will be better and better in tennis!!! =)

first: i have done the IELTS test!!!!! and it’s 6.5 ahahaaa, so bad… especially the writing, dammit… my writing is always bad in Indonesian, what about in English?! OF COURSE, worse…  or maybe it’s because my grammar is bad so the score is low??

second: the piano exam is NEXT WEEK, oh my, oh my…. and the pieces are still in a mess….

third: i think, i have found what major i wanna take!!! it’s architecture!! hm, can i success in that area…….

fourth: mama miaaaa….. i’m gonna be bald in the 30-ies, maybe, there is a hairfall in my house!! not a waterfall, and its source is mine!! huhuhuhu….

fifth: i have given up on him…..

sixth: apparently i don’t need IELTS score for attending university… and I have not register my name to the university yet, actually, i still have not chosen which university i wanna attend….

seventh: i keep getting on dreams seeing the person that i detest from elementary school being so friendly with me and my friends, weird huh? and 1 more dream, which is about that guy who i had a crush before, walking together with a girl i detest from high school, and that girl gives me a cynical smile…..

eight: i started playing baking life, lol, what’s with this?! and pico too, i play it!!

ninth: i love kuroshitsuji!!! but i think it will be very scary if a butler like that exists….

tenth: i don’t know that to say, let’s put an end to this post…LOL

eleventh: i think i am going nuts….

And now, I am being tangled by the strings of confusion….. I am confused, is the major that I have chosen is the right one?

I am going to take january class, but I don’t think it is possible…

I have not taken any IELTS test…which is a DEFINITELY YES certificate that you need in order to go abroad…. and the minimal score for the university that I want to attend is 650-700…. My friends don’t even get 550!!!! ME, 650 till 700?? WHAT THE….huff

then, there are still soooo many to be prepared… the UAI or now is called ATAR for the major that I want to take is 97.30 (fall 2010), and the requirements for taking the major are: I have to make a personal statement and 10 products of arts, including the demonstration, in a CD…and how do I do that?? well, that is the requirements for the first university… FOR the 2nd, the UAI is 86 or something like that…and I have not opened its website for further information…

and I am not from its country but I have got permission to stay there (PR), so then, I am being included as a local student…but where do I get the UAI score??????? I am confused again in that matter….huff…..

and what about my speaking, I think it is really not fluent, and has so many grammatical errors….my vocab, my listening skills….. maybe I will just be a failure person in the future….

I got attacked by a sudden mist of mosquitoes blood walking inside my blood’s veins, which made me got a dengue fever, damn…. my platelets dropped till 67.700, that was the lowest, but thank you, thank you, it rose up in the eight day, although it only rose till 76.000, and the next day it rose up to 147.000. Oh MAN, it’s like I have just got married or whatever that is, I felt so vair damned happy!!!!!!!! HAHA

BUT, because I got diarrhea too, so I got out from the hospital in the following day. And now, I am not allowed to eat chillied and coconut milked also fried food, HUHU…… but it’s okay though, I don’t have to eat any porridge, I am sick of eating porridge for more than a week!!!!!

Well, thanks for the assistance though, Mr. Doctor Titos and Ms. Nurses (Aprillia, Amanda, the pregnant one, Nopita, and I forgot their names), also my parents and siblings, I LOVE YOU…..

Hmm, what I just babbled out to you guys, just ignore-vous it…hahaa….I am just typing because I am soooo happy you know… I just got out from the hospital two days ago…. My skin right now is like a polkadot patterned clothes y’know, even my Dad wants to take pictures of it so many times, HUFF…..

THANK YOU, againn…. >.<

I have like him from the 2nd grade of senior high school, but till know, it has been more than a year, maybe, and still no development because of my friend keep bugging us, so he keeps a distance from me so nobody bully us, huhhhh……

I’m so sad………

I want to say those words, but don’t have any courage to do so, because I am shy, HAHA….

But still, I want to have someone whose age is older than me, he is older though, but only some months……huh…..confused….T.T

I’ve been thinking about these, y’know: “Who am I, where am I, and what am I?”. Hearing those questions makes the ears tickle a little bit, and it will make you crazy if you keep thinking about that thing!!!!!! Damn, and after I read a book yesterday, I keep thinking about that now, well, maybe if I write it here, I will forget about that, hahaaa

Sometimes I feel lonely, I think… Maybe that’s because I’m the youngest of four, and all of my siblings are abroad, and sometimes my parents can be annoying too, which make me feel lonely. But, annoying is better than when they are fighting y’know, stay quiet all the time each other but keep talking to me..haha, it’s kinda cute to see that (even parents still do that kind of thing!! I never imagine it before..hahaa), but the next day it will be okay again (maybe at night they talk each other when I’m not around? Who guess…)

And then, other reason is that I don’t really have that sort of called Best Friend. I do have, though, only one and she is far away, separated by many small islands and one big island…. The rest of the friends are just usual, only come asking or bother when they have a purpose, that sucks, haha, but I’m used to it, and the other friend, she already has a boyfriend, and of course I don’t want to be a fly, so I keep the distance from them, that’s why I think, I think, I don’t really have any friends to be called best friend, only “best friend” I have….huh

Hm, I do write a lot. maybe a lot than usual. Oh yeah, I’m going to be graduated from high school lately, which makes me sooooo happy, or not, hm?? But the bad news is i have to prepare the preparation to university soon, I have to take IELTS test and also, I don’t know, many more.

Then, for the final exam of piano, the song, as usual is very hard to play but good to hear (it’s usual, right??). For the exam, I play:

A1: Sonata in D minor by Cimarosa

B2: Allegro con brio- 1st movt from Sonata in B flat, Op. 24 No.2 by Clementi

C6: Alligator Crawl by Waller

Hm, the hardest from all, I might say it’s all of them! HAHA….. but it’s still 3 or 4 months left, I think I can play it well, right?????

—————————————————————————————————-

Blood,

will be shed everywhere…

the water will be red…

the land will be red…

this world will be red…

all because of blood…

war everywhere,

soldiers everywhere,

guns and arrow everywhere,

all died…

all disappeared…

all went out…

all vanished, into thin air…

no one lives…

the end of the world,

the planet will be red…

no blue color…

the sun will lose its light

then it will die…

then we will all die…

10 September 2006

Now I am currently doing my so-called final exams, and it has been two weeks, consisting of national exams, like: Mathematics, Indonesian Language, English, Physics, Chemistry, and Biology (for Science Class, for Social Class is different). It was last week, the national exam. For this week, I did practical exams, not pretty bad I say, but I made some silly mistakes, just as usual, hahaa, which of course, reduce my points. I will still be doing my practical exam till next Monday (maybe, if tomorrow is not a public holiday, next Monday the practical exam had finished already).

and the next following week, I will be doing my School’s Exams, which is, for me, is NOT VERY IMPORTANT, but I HAVE TO do it in order to graduate (sux, right), well, this is because, the lessons that will be in the exam are like: Religion, Civil, History, P.E, Computer, and Chinese Language… it’s just a waste of time, I think, or not??

Then, I am in no mood to write this actually, so if there are soooooo many errors in the grammar, I am deeply sorry to my teacher, haha…….

I am doing this just because I don’t have anything to do at the moment because my ds is out of battery, haha….